Inspired by today’s news* and memories of yesterday’s good advice:
- Eat your peas. There are children starving in [fill in the blank with country of choice.]
- Never send money to Nigerian princes, bankers, astronauts, or spies.
- Don’t talk to strangers.
- Don’t click on that link.
- Always wear clean underwear with no holes. You could get in a traffic accident and be taken to the hospital and you wouldn’t want the doctors to think you are a slob.
- Don’t take your pressure cooker to the airport. It might look like a fancy crock pot to you, but it looks like a bomb to TSA.
- Always say please and thank you.
- Just say no.
* [from today’s news] Operations at Terminal 2 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport returned to normal Wednesday after authorities found a suspicious item in the morning and evacuated the terminal, airport officials said.
The ticketing lobby and checkpoints reopened just after 6 a.m. after the Bloomington Bomb Squad cleared the item, which turned out to be a rice cooker. The man who left the cooker behind was arrested, said airport spokeswoman Melissa Scovronski. X-rays revealed the rice cooker contained only spices.